Well reader, today was the day that I was put in front of a camera and interviewed about my art career from my upcoming award.  In preparing for my interview today- I had a “This is your Life” moment and realized how much of an honor this truly is.  Knowing that I am receiving this in May, I wanted to be sure that I acknowledged all the forces that helped me be, well, me.

It was a nerve racking day because in true heather fashion, I was sick to death over sounding articulate, not getting too giggly, not getting lost in thoughts, thinking before speaking so that I make sense….. it was certainly an exercise on not allowing myself to cut myself to pieces before I even get started.  I can do that well…. especially having high standards for myself.

Luckily, the film crew arrived at the studio and prepared me well.  They had wonderful questions for me to respond to and I think I can only count 1.5 times in the hour they were interviewing me that I wasn’t as articulate as I would have liked to be.  I guess, like anyone else, I’m a work in progress :)

I thought I would take some shots as to what it looked like behind the scenes and hopefully in May, when I receive the award, I will be able to share the finished product with you.  Or you could come to the ceremony…..

In addition to the filming, I had to have a headshot taken for all their publicity.  The unfortunate thing was that I was sick most of last week and when I arranged with one of my BF colleagues to shoot my brand spankin’ new headshot (with brand spankin’ new haircut), we realized how sick I still looked and disheveled I felt.  Luckily, Olaf was a kind enough to reshoot my face again on Monday morning (the day it was due!) and it made all the difference.  I was well rested and ready to go.    If you’re curious what my new headshot is, I’m debuting it right here, right now before anyone else sees it.  Watch for it in the papers!

The past few days I have receded into my self proclaimed bubble at home.  It’s ok- with Lehigh on break, it allowed me to remain in my pajamas for some puttering about the   apartment.  Yesterday, I was a bit rammy and I began to think- is this what a girl who wants to see the world does?  NO!  So I may or may not have changed out of my pajamas (after all they are sheik and black!) and I went to the Martin Art Gallery… which is virtually down the street from where I live.  It quite frankly would be a sin to not swing by and check out their current exhibit.

The show was entitled Horizons.  I didn’t really know that.  Honestly, I got the card in the mail a few weeks ago and tossed it on the pile.  So really when I decided to get out and see something, I didn’t recall what I was going to see.  I was pleasantly surprised!  The installation was done by Icelandic artist, Steinunn Thorarinsdottir (yes, I copied that spelling from the showcard).  It was a room of still and disconnected figures.  I entered the closed door to the gallery and I felt as if I entered a room where there was a secret being kept.  It was very still.  I meandered my way through the organized life sized cast iron figures.  While they were organized to the almost converse, there couldn’t have been more of a solace in their relationship to one another.  The figures, presumably men (although have not genitals), show both strength and vulnerability.  As I read the exhibition booklet, Jonathan Goodman suggests that they resemble angels or guardians of something sacred.  This is an adept description because moving through the space I felt a stillness in the air that was so charged that if I just let out a breath, the air would break around me.  I confess to you, dear reader, that it is an experience worth being a part of.  A chilling observation for me is that I walked through a room of figures yet, I felt more solace there than I did at home in my own self proclaimed bubble.  Perhaps, because they weren’t attached to the internet as i seem to be day in and day out.

There is something to be said about how these figures were originally intended to be seen as opposed to how I experienced them.  The images throughout the booklet depict the figures in a forest.  They are scattered throughout- making less of a relationship with each other and more of gate between you and the trees they seem to barricade.  I almost feel as though the Martin Gallery exhibit personalizes the figures where the forest imagery imbeds a resounding strength to their presence.  I like experiencing them as I did… perhaps, I just relate to them in a different way as I think they relate to each other in a different way.  There is something to be said to be among others and feel totally isolated.  Their isolation however is not one of retreat but one of resigned strength.  Something incredibly powerful, indeed!

Finally I would be remised if I did not address the green reflective bar imbedded in each of their chests.  I am assuming this was the Horizon Thorarinsdottir is speaking of.  The first thing I thought of was Tron but then i got past myself.  I tried to peak into the bar.  I thought it was a window into something else then I thought it was a mirror to reflect back at you.  I do know it is a piece of glass- but i am not sure what i was seeing when i further investigated it.  Regardless, I did feel as though I was intruding on their personal space.  And I kept reminding myself they are sculptures.  But their demeanor is so passive and quiet, one does not want to disturb them from their meditation.

Anyway, I find it funny that in the pursuit to see and be around people that I find a place to be around people and still feel solace.  Maybe that’s the universe’s little trick…. or validation that I’m doing exactly what I need to be.

For further information about this show, check out www.muhlenberg.edu or check out Thorarinsdottir’s website at www.steinunnth.com.

Coming off the high of last night, I recieved sad news that Barba-Del Campbell, probably Lehigh Valley’s biggest art enthusiast and even bigger in personality, humor, and wisdom, has passed away this morning.

I want to share with you a little about my relationship with her.  I returned to the Valley in 2001 and had my first exhibition here in the beginning of 2002.  Barba-del immediately dubbed me the “Valley’s Frida Khalo” which felt like to me an enormous title to be able fulfill.  Before she knew my artwork, she would chat with me about anything under the sun anytime I was at the Allentown Art Museum Gift Store, where she volunteered for a number of years.

Barba-del could be seen in the Baum hallways as she had profound relationships with many of the instructors and staff there.  Any event Baum had you could hear her hearty laugh and commanding presence.  She was a force not to miss and who would want to?  Every story she had was something you would imagine in novels- her life, incredibly colorful!

I asked Barba-del to be a part of “she her i: a portrait of women”- an installation I did in 2008.  I think I already have expressed that this experience was had been incredibly poignant.  Through these women, I felt I would have incredible lessons about my own security and identity.  I truly wish that every person could have an experience like I had when I put that show together.  Hopefully this little bit of insight, you too may feel the incredible impact that I am so fortunate to have had.

IF this is the first time you have read my blog, “she her i” was an installation  where I interviewed 22 women in the Valley about components of their identity.  When the 33 question written survey was completed, I then did a photoshoot with each of them.  I’m going to share some of our coorespondance.

When I asked Barba-del to take part in the piece, I recieved a lovely card accepting my offer.  She writes:
“I was an early feminist, and I tell everyone that I regret starting women’s lib (I never minded letting Gloria Steinem getting the credit) because it has failed.  Females have opted to present themselves as sex objects during school, and working, and at the marriage altar.  It never bothered me to model nude, but spare me the backless, and almost frontless, wedding gowns.  The expense of them could be saved if women just presented themselves nude.
Well, I think you already know that I have opinions….”

As I photographed her, she elaborated on her survey and colorful life.  She mentions her time in Manhattan- having dinner with Marlene Dietrich (an invitation extended by her daughter because she knew Barba-del and her mother would be kindred spirits and spent the evening comparing recipes and joking about the challenges of being a woman with a raspy voice).  She was most proud of being mentioned in Lloyd L. Brown’s biography of  The Young Paul Robeson- the African American actor to first do Shakespeare’s Othello, paving the way for Sidney Poiter.  She was a model for many painters and in fact, still modeled for Baum classes these last few years.  When I asked her about growing up and aging, she responded: “I feel catagorized rather than objectified.  Old has become the dirty word Sex used to be.  I’m regarded as a senior citizen before I am seen as a person.  Funny, I never think of younger people as junior citizens.”

I have only known Barba-del during these last nine years since I returned here to the Lehigh Valley and I wish to have known her throughout her life.  A few years ago, I remember hearing about her crooked apartment in an old mansion lined with books.  She would thoughtfully cut articles out of the New York Times for my referenceand leave them at the Baum School desk for me.  She attended some college but did not graduate however is probably one of the most well read people I have encountered.  And when it came to defining herself in one word, she chose: “Questioning.  I have a lifelong passion for knowing the why and the how of everything under the sun, and beyond it.  The more one knows and understands, the more ease one finds within oneself.”

The second to last question on the survey was “Is there anything else you would like to be known about yourself?” 
After filling out questions about race, family, gender, sexuality, and occupation,  Barba-del answers; “The world is not here for me, I am here for the world.”  Thank you, Barba-del.  You were an incredible gift.  May you rest in peace.