How in the world is it already September 4?  I simply cannot figure out where the time has been ticking away to.  To bring you up to speed- I found a new apartment and gave it one thorough facelift; I finally moved my apartment out of ‘gunshot alley’ last weekend; I’m still unpacking; school started; I put up my More Serious Business Installation; and dismantled the piece in the Baum School show…… and for some reason since I have moved, the coffee I make doesn’t taste the same.  Eek.

I apologize, dear reader, that I rattled off a laundry list of “how busy I am.”  I know that everyone is busy and I am not special when it comes to that.  There aren’t really excuses for that- I simply am still battling my demons of balance.  I get that I somewhat thrive on hectic. I actually think many artists do, whether they admit it to you or not.  I don’t really like that about myself but I understand where it comes from and I do think it is somewhat of a cultural thing.  I didn’t really hear people brag about their busy-ness while I was in Spain.  Actually, the family I stayed with near the end of my trip had a member who worked very long hours and it seemed more of a annoyance than a badge of honor.  But I do think that we Americans love to feel industrious and feel validation in the time we block off.  It makes us feel important.  I’m not really sure if that’s necessarily a good thing.  I don’t really love it for myself but I almost feel like it’s a necessary evil…. or at least my subconscious does.  I know down time can be a stressor.  I feel like when I am not using my time in a productive manner then I am wasting it when I should be working harder.  I mean I haven’t achieved many of the goals I’ve set out for myself and I certainly am not accomplishing them while watching the Real Housewives of New Jersey, right?

And the inner turmoil ensues…… a girl cannot be all work and still remain productive but why are the breaks not as valued as much as the work?  I guess one may never know! All that said, it’s something I struggle with.

So anyway….. last night More Serious Business opened at the NCC Fowler Center.  It was stifling thick air, lots of people, and maybe not enough wine.  But incredibly fun, even if just to say hello to some of my colleagues and reconnect with friends.  My piece seemed to be a bit hidden away in what was deemed the “Party Room.”  That’s ok, I guess, but after I blathered on about the ridiculous “busy-ness” of the past two weeks, getting this piece there was not exception so I felt like I wanted to not be so tucked away then, and of course I wanted feedback.  What can you do?  The party room made it really difficult for that to happen since it was incredibly loud and really hard to talk to anyone and hear them, even while screaming.

My piece is called ‘albatross.’  It’s not the piece I originally intended to do in the space but it is a concept I have been dragging around for probably nearly 12 years.  I’m glad it has taken this long to realize itself because my first conception of it was rather literal.  I guess there is no harm to every revisiting a pice but for some reason, it never felt right enough to get it off the ground.

Those of you who know me know I adore classic literature.  And for those of you who have seen me do my artist talk know I speak of my high school British Lit teacher and the profound influence that course had on me (and how I finally felt as if I was not an idiot when it came to understanding metaphorical writing).  During that year, required reading includes a segment on 19th c Romantic poetry- one being the “Rime of the Ancient Mariner.”  I guess it always was a rather visceral response I had with that poem and as I have gotten older, (don’t laugh) I honestly can feel the weight of stress in my body.  Being that I have been so affected by the clock, time passing, even my age- this seemed to be the time to develop this idea.  It really isn’t about one thing specifically- it’s more about that physical effect of the emotional toll.  Furthermore, that may be wrapped up in the “societal expectations of identity” bow that I work within.

Things I’m loving about the new piece:  how the weight is felt in the floor elements.  The charr on the wood, the displacement on the floor, the “anchor” of the mortar stone.  I adore how it came off.  I love the layering in the wall piece and I adore the image I began with.  The discovery of what acrylic tar can do!

Things I am reworking as soon as it gets to my studio: bringing back the image.  I abstracted it too much and it seems to be lost to many.  It’s needed for the context of the piece.  And I need more layering of the paint/tar/sugar.  The tar looks a bit like semen to me.  That’s ok but it may be a little too sexually charged for me…. this is my own observation.  No one really said anything to me about it.  Who knows.

I think it’s actually kind of fun to get some space like this from the new work.  I mean, it’s new new.  Really new.  Not even architect’s daughter new.  Brand new(ish) concept new.  I need new.  Architect’s daughter can burn me out because it’s so totally labor intensive .  I still have plenty to develop there but I’m psyched to be working up this new ‘albatross’ series.  I think it may be what I take to Texas next year!  So much to do….. and 3000 square feet of space to fill.  Wow!

For those of you who never read the Rime of the Ancient Mariner- here is the wikilink. http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Rime_of_the_Ancient_Mariner_(1817)
(and check back within the next few days for subsequent posts- I’m going to post some images of colleagues work in the MSB show.  It was so fun to see everyone there!)