You devout readers are probably wondering where I’ve been….. well, look not further.  Last week, I was basking in the Florida sun without any sight of a tar ball!  It was a beautiful week and quite honestly readers, I didn’t think about the studio, shows, sketchbooks, or grant proposals like I thought I would.  I was lost in a frilly novel allowing myself downtime- something that usually gives me twinges of anxiety.

And after settling back into life in PA, I’m back in the studio sorting through marks, tears, and coiled threads.  I am still trying to chalk this process up to the powers that be for me to make sense of it.  So many times, I am happy to switch my focus and bounce right back into the studio, only to abandon ideas I had while I was too busy to make them.  I think the good ideas are the ones that wait it out until I am ready for some saturated work time.  As I’ve mentioned in the past few posts, I’m in a transition time.  I hate transitions.  They are the hardest times to have.  I think the last big one was while I was in Vermont (which by the way, my super cool VT studio neighbor, Tamara Albaitis debuted her rebuilt website the other day- www.burnthebox.org).  If you were a reader of my blog way back when, you will know how gut wrenching my VT residency was.  Tamara talked me off many ledges and had wise perspective as to what I was actually accomplishing while I was there….. and if you weren’t a reader back then well, take my word for it- I was a mess.  But the great thing about being a mess there- after a concentrated month, I was able to come home, process what just happened to me and a few months later, I busted out the studies that became “Architect’s Daughter.”  So right now, I am trying to not even point myself toward the ledge (I have a third floor studio after all :) and allow this time to be a time to try out the new things.  Quick update- the balloons you saw in the last posting are still sitting there….. I’m afraid they are a victim to a fleeting thought.

Over the past few years I think I have had a bad perspective about approach and process.  I think I have always done well with a solid (or almost solid) plan when I begin a piece.  I thought that was the only way to go.  And on the other hand, I have also found that entering into a piece without clear vision or intent is also really dicey.  So the thing I am beginning to accept as part of the process is studies.  That sounds like an absolutely stupid realization to have at this point of my studio practice but it’s true.  I was interviewed a few years ago and one thing the interviewer picked up on was materiality in my work.  What I use isn’t as important than the effect it creates and that effect can’t really be flushed through without material studies.  During First Fridays, the MOST ASKED question I get is “how did I come up with sugar?”  The viewers interest is typically one of earnest amazement and I am grateful for that but sugar in my work has no other reason except as a means to an end for a visual problem I had.  And this would never be accomplished without studies.  So right now is study time.  Not my favorite (especially with First Friday around the corner) but I know it’s all part of the job.

And the other wonderful observation I’m acknowledging is that I can’t make the present work without the work I have already made.  I realize many ore even most artists are like that but I know my work especially builds on the last.  So how does that not become this weird amorphous blob of a collection.  I proclaim my collections/series as determined by their prominent mark.  So negotiating the marks to converse nicely with each other is somewhat of becoming a translator of a language you don’t really know.  Writing that right now reminds me of being a stranger in a strange land- someone I was last year at this time, while in Spain (can you believe that was a year ago!)

PS.  ”Architect’s Daughter” and “Beside Her” are being shipped out to Waco, Texas for an exhibit entitled “Self” at the Croft Art Gallery.  I’m so psyched!  The show is based on Jungian theory and sponsored by the Friends of Jung Society.  Who knew there would be a show out there tailor made for moi!