I seem to have my head in the clouds lately.  Yesterday I drove right by my exit on the way to school and didn’t realize it until I nearly passed the exit after it.  I can’t even tell you what I was thinking about…. it wasn’t much.  I think I was thinking about the Obama plan for the space program or something.  It’s weird to be that flightly.

I think I’m transitioning.  It’s the end of the school year and my classes are all high energy.  Everyone is frantically registaring for next semester’s classes, cramming whatever they can into the hours in the day, and looking towards summer.  I said all semester that I had no idea how I would make it through this one.  It’s the heaviest load I think I have taught ever and having a show on top of it AND the Evolving Archetype series planning made it a white knuckled fifteen weeks.  I think I have whined nearly every day during March that I couldn’t wait until the end of the semester to catch my breath and get a break. 

Tomorrow I start cleaning out my studio to make room for new work.  I have been jonesing to do so all week.  It’s been months since I have worked there- I only moved back in from the installation site last weekend.  I almost can’t stand to see the work that’s in there.  It’s so not where my head is at anymore.  So tomorrow starts spring cleaning and a major studio facelift.

I have been thinking so much anymore about shedding.  Maybe it’s because Marigold sheds so much; maybe it’s because I just cut 7 inches off the length of my hair; maybe it’s because I lost one of my jobs.  I don’t know.  BUt it is something I feel like everytime I turn around, I seem to let out an enormous exhale.  It’s kind of a relief in a way while jarring at the same time.  I don’t know what will happen in the fall.  Have I saved enough money to get through summer?  I am not sure how worried I am about it yet.  But as I start to switch gears back to studio time and have a twinge of sadness again about ending my semester and leaving altogether, I am trying to readjust to set my sites on grants and funded projects.  Hm.  What happened to the days where artists had patrons?  It’s just a question :)

So I’m beginning to think about where my work is going…. last week I did a study for a piece entitled “breathing lesson:a.”  I am apprehensive to say that because it was incredibly rough and really not resolved.  I’m am really looking forward to having the time to develop new work and hope to settle into a fruitful studio season.  In the studio exercises that I guess I am calling “breathing lessons,”  I’m trying to think about what the metaphorical exhale means.  I guess with so many years of yoga behind me one has always been taught that it’s all about the breath.  The breath is the most paramount and when thinking about the “breathing lessons” I think I am thinking about what that fundamental function is.  It’s existing.  For as long as I’ve known the sun rises and sets and for as long as I know, I have continued to inhale and exhale not matter how much money I have had, what relationship I was in, or what job I have.  I’m not entirely sure where this thought is going and I’m certainly not sure how it will be represented in my work but I guess I am examining balance and counterbalance….. especially when it comes to my life which is very much in transition and now I look to carve into the next path.