OK so I’m feeling incredibly guilty to watch my neighbors from the second floor shovel and snow blow out my alley where I live.  Good ol’ Atown was pounded with what looks like a foot of snow which was absolutely gorgeous coming down yesterday.  Being that I was snowed in- I hit the grocery store on my way back home from school Tuesday night and bought ingredients so that I could artistically express myself in cake yesterday.  I have been absolutely enamored with a cake recipe I found while reading Flavorpill’s list of “Valentine’s Day gifts that don’t suck.”  (Maybe I should stick to artmaking…. this cake is a bit rough around the edges but I still think it’s adorable).

What I SHOULD have been doing yesterday if I had been on the ball, was working on the video component for my installation.  I have not yet checked out the camera so there is yet one more day that goes by where I have not tackled video.  It’s ok, I tell myself.  It will get done.  It has to.  Silagh already rented the projector :)

But why am I really writing today…. well, last week I did an interview with a woman named Megan for the “Evolving Archetype” series.  I had a really great question that I think no one has ever asked me before.  Her question was: “what archetype are you?”

We’ve been talking about archetypes for months and even Silagh and I sat around one afternoon talking about how archetypes have changed and she quickly identified hers but I haven’t ever really thought what mine would be- like in a succinct label.  Kinda weird that I think about this a lot, yet have not identified my own.

So my knee jerk response was “career girl.”  Yup, I pretty much am sucked up by my career and we know how mixed I feel about that but I couldn’t let that land as the one thing that label’s me.  I feel as though to be identified only by a career is rather superficial and I think I am much more than that.  I think about much more so therefore it couldn’t be the ONE thing.

My work creates, I guess, sub-archetypes- meaning one’s that are derivative of larger stories.  Architect’s Daughter (AD) would be one of them and that is exactly how I identify myself for now.  AD is about the deconstruction and reconstruction of identity.  For a period of time, I felt like maybe I had few choices.  Maybe that gender expectations defined me rather than me defining myself.   It’s a weird place to be and probably is a result of low self esteem and a place of victimized confidence (if that makes sense).  And I’m being pretty frank with you, dear readers, that depression is an awful place in which to define yourself (and am quite happy now!).

I began AD about a year and a half ago but that isn’t to say that is when all of that hullabaloo ended.  One thing I have encountered with my process is that I need to assess and come to a resolution about concepts and emotions  in order to apply them to what I do.  This takes years and at times, I think I have it all figured out only to go back to the drawing board.  BUT I think AD has a bit of  the visual and emotional synergy that I look for- which is a great feeling.

So in my sub-archetype of Architect’s Daughter, I think I’m on the active side of defining who I am- on my own terms.  It is assessing exactly who you want to be and throwing out the garbage of expectations; the “shoulds”, and the “have to’s.”  I like being in that spot because for once it feels completely liberating.  As Architect’s Daughter, I now become the architect which in a way becomes an ode to myself but also my parents.  Daughter implies the examples that have been set for you that now become one’s guideposts along the way.

I ended my response to Megan’s question with the archetype of where I would like to be and that is the Jungian/Gnostic Sophia.  I love this story and I love it’s realization.  I think maybe I have talked about Sophia before but to refresh your memory….

The myth of Sophia identifies her as the mother of the “godhead.”  She births god and god becomes the father of creation.  When Sophia sees that god’s creation is flawed, she begins a journey to search for her son and have him remedy his creation.  She endlessly searches only to come to the realization that she created god and therefore it is from within her, creation emerged.  She can create change; she can suggest growth; she can do this singularly.  She realizes that she is god and capable of creating what she wants to see.

This is a place I feel I grow nearer to.  Jung suggests we all strive for this Sophia unconsciously.  For me, well, maybe it’s a little bit more in the forefront of my mind but I know, at times, I tend to forget that I’m on the journey.  But little dips in the journey make the resolution that much sweeter…. maybe like a good piece of cake.