What I have going on in the studio right now is a cycle of ripping vellum and taping it to an image of Merissa that I photographed……. only to take off and tear up vellum again.  It’s somewhat frustrating only because I seem to like the “effects” it all creates however I don’t have a clear picture how I want to use these effects.  Sounds a little bit silly and probably a lot whiney because really in the big picture of it all- I most likely will figure it out- or throw it away.

I guess what I hope for is the epiphany moment.  Those are such wonderful moments.  It’s when all the sweating and tensing up becomes just a distant memory and all you can feel is how clever and satisfied you are.  It happens however I guess I haven’t felt it in a while and am anxious for it again.  Call me an epiphany junkie.

So working with the subject matter of my sister has been relatively new and possibly could contribute to my “stuckness.”  As you fair readers know, I have worked with the self portrait concept for a while.  It feels goods to move on but it is much more of a challenge.  I now am beginning to think about my sister in a way that maybe I haven’t in the past.  My sister and I have always been pretty close.  I think I maybe remember 1 fight we had as children where we relentlessly pulled each other hair.  I honestly cannot remember why.  But one thing Merissa is that she handles herself very differently than I do.  And in thinking about our relationship, that dynamic often consists of me dominating the conversation while begging for her insight.  She is very respectful and normally offers only when asked.  I only really realized this.

I notice that I cover her with the vellum and that covering is something I think of with her.  She is very protective of herself and often reveals little about her thoughts (while I ramble on and on to those I feel comfortable with).  Where am I going with this… I don’t know.  I’m just trying to decipher WHY I’m doing what I’m doing.

One of the assignments i gave myself was to follow intuition- in all aspects of my life.  This is part of that assignment- which is very different for me.  I normally flush it all out leaving a little bit up for negotiation before starting.  This instance- not the case….

What you see here are two phases of the image I’m working with… Who knows where that will end up…..